unculturedswine

Tonight I sit back and think about things and just ask myself if I’m the one in control of where my life is going. Part of me thinks I’ve just given up on directing myself anymore. I’ve been so overwhelmed with tasks, and disappointments, and outcomes that I just don’t know if I even know what I’m doing with myself. I’m making choices on a whim, and easily giving up on long-chased dreams. Free agency dictates everything, and unfortunately sometimes the agency of others didn’t choose my way and I think that’s put me in a state of apathy that, oddly enough, I just don’t care enough to get out of. Is it a dangerous spot to be in? Maybe, depends on how serious the danger is? Beats me. I can’t tell anymore. I don’t know if I ever even knew how to.

Mahalo! Hello from Hawai’i. I landed here yesterday afternoon with just my brother Kurt, we picked up the nice POS Chevy Venture Mini-van and found our way to the house. AMAZING. This is going to be an amazing trip. I won’t say too much, we’re having fun. Ten minutes walk from the beach, absolutely beautiful. I just wanted to jump on and say, it sure is nice to run away from life for a little while. It’s been 24 hours and I feel so much less stress weighing on my mind, it’s terrific.

I’ll be putting pictures on my Flickr account, and well as on my photoblog. I’ll catch ya later!

It seems my past few posts have been overly-negative, but it certainly seems like there isn’t a lot of sunshine in my life. I’ll be moving out today and tomorrow back to Alpine, thanks to Provo and the illegal enforcement of equally corrupt zoning laws. Our tickets to Hawaii cost $1000 instead of $500. There isn’t a shop in town that wants to finish fixing my ‘Cruiser up. And winter just won’t go away! Ugh.

But, I must do better. I need to see the rainbow after the storm, find the pony amongst all the … crap. Feeling mad about everything never did anyone any good, I just need to accept some injustices and move on with my life, and continue to seek out my happiness. It’s somewhere out there, right? So the storybooks say…